


I'm sorry

by someoneyoucantstand



Series: Mpreg [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:57:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7247533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someoneyoucantstand/pseuds/someoneyoucantstand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just before Cisco twisted the door knob<br/>"I'm sorry"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm sorry

"Are you sure you're okay?" Caitlin's concerned voice stayed on one side of the door, with Hartley on the other. 10 minutes before, Hartley had sped his way through the halls of STAR Labs the second he'd come into work, making his way to the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

She heard the toilet flush followed by the sound of running water. The water stopped and Caitlin raised her hand to knock again before stepping back when she heard the door unlock, opening to reveal a pale looking Hartley.

"I'm fine." Hartley looked up to meet Caitlin eyes, "nothing to be concerned about."

Caitlin pursed her lips and watched Hartley make his way down the corridor, closing the door behind him as he entered his work shop. Since returning to the team, Hartley seemed to be kinder, warmer and more open to them all until a few weeks back when his walls just seemed to build themselves back up again.

Hartley leant himself against the cool metal of the door as it shut behind him. His hands made a grab for what was in his pocket, pulling out a long white stick wrapped in toilet paper he had grabbed in a panic in order to hide it from Caitlin. He hadn't actually looked at what the test had shown, just grabbed it and ran. It had look him almost all of his time in the bathroom to work up the courage to take the test and he wasn't prepared to go through that all over again just to lie his eyes on it.

Hartley took a deep breath and pulled the toilet paper from his test, letting it fall to the floor as his eyes fell on the small positive the stick had produced.

It felt like his stomach had dropped to his feet as he lost his balanced, swaying a little before gripping his desk chair. His grip was rough, his knuckles turning as white as his face probably was at the realisation that he was in this situation, that he was having a child.

***

In the weeks that followed, Hartley felt as if his head was filled with cotton. He wasn't able to focus on anything, causing a few issues for the team when he couldn't think of the right solution for technology or when he used the wrong frequency when faced with a new metahuman, almost dashing Barry's brains instead of the woman's.

Other than attending the doctor's once to confirm the test and set up another appointment - against his will - he hadn't done much in regards of his situation. He hadn't even told his parents. Why would he? He had only just managed to get them back after he'd come out gay 5 years ago and he wasn't prepared to be disowned again.

Hartley signed and leant back in chair, his head thrown back as his hands rubbed his face. The stretching had revealed the slight swelling of his stomach causing him to grimace and drop has head in his arms instead, his arms and head resting on the cold table in front of him. At 8 weeks pregnant, he had starting to show - it wasn't that noticeable, just looked like a few extra pounds - what with him already being a skinny guy and the doctor explaining that he would grow slightly larger than a woman due to being a man.

"Hey Hart, want a red vine?" Cisco asked as he entered the workspace, throwing himself down into one of the spare chairs.

Hartley shook his head, which still rested in his arms.

"You okay, man?" Cisco asked, biting into the red vine he'd offered to Hartley.

Hartley raised his head and fixed his glasses, nodding. "Not enough sleep last night, I'll be fine."

"You sure, you've been off for a while now..." Cisco trailed off. "Look, if it's about that night-" Cisco stopped short when Caitlin shouted for the two. Hartley stood up and waved Cisco off.

"Leave it."                                                                        

****

If anyone noticed the growth of Hartley's stomach, they hadn't said anything about it. Since confirming his fears, he'd gone two months without speaking about it other than going to the doctors. Whilst male pregnancy wasn't impossible, it also wasn't something that happened a lot, so the thought never came into head when if people noticed the weight gain.

Hartley had been to the doctors last night and found out that he was having a girl, tears growing in his eyes as the thought about a little girl with tanned skin and dark hair, possible glasses and no doubt good at science to match both fathers.

It almost made him want to tell the other father.

****

Everything came crashing down around Hartley just after he hit 17 weeks.

He walked down the corridor towards his lap when he felt a sharp pain in his side, almost like the stitches he'd get after running in gym when he was young. He gripped his side and took a deep breath, resting one side against the wall before straightening up again when the pain decreased.

It wasn't until 10 minutes later when Hartley was working on an upgrade for his gloves that the main appeared again, this time spreading around his stomach. He pressed a hand on the top of the bump as a sharp stab like feeling rippled through the lower half of his body. Hartley groaned and rubbed the bump, pushing himself out of the chair, breathing heavily as he did.

Hartley took a step forward, the step sending another shooting pain into his abdomen, and stumbled slightly. The pain increased as dark spots fell into his line of vision. He gasped as he attempted to take a step forward, but instead felt his legs go weak as he fell down, landing with a hard thud on his side. With one hand resting under his bump he attempted to push himself up when another rush of pain sent him back down again.

"Hartley, I was wondering if-" Hartley heard the small clang of Caitlin dropping whatever she was holding as she rushed forward to him, dropping to her knees and grabbing his wrist to check his pulse.

"Hartley? Hartley can you hear me?" Her face was blurring into her surroundings from Hartley's point of view. Hartley gasped and gripped onto Caitlin's arm as another shooting pain shot through him.

"Hartley, I need you to tell me what's wrong." Caitlin had gone into doctor mode, attempting to keep the calm, but maybe Hartley would have heard the panic if he wasn't suddenly extremely dizzy, his vision fading and blurring as if his glasses had gotten lost on the way down.

His head dropped back into the floor as it began to pound, his vision getting worse by the second. Caitlin placed one hand on his cheek, attempting to pull his head up to meet her eyes. "Hartley come on, I need you to stay awake." Hartley closed his eyes and rested his head down again the second Caitlin get go.

"Hartley please I need - You're bleeding, oh my god you're bleeding. Barry! Cisco!"

****

It was after the doctor's at Central City Hospital had told him that there was nothing they could have done and that his little girl has died.

It was after his parents had come and held him, surprising Hartley who thought they were going to throw him away like he was nothing like they had done before.

It was after Barry and Caitlin had gone for the night with the promise to return first thing in the morning.

It was just before Cisco turned the door knob.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't a whisper, and Cisco had heard him way it. He stilled, his hand still resting on the door before he turned back to Hartley.

To Cisco, Hartley looked so small in the bed, his pale skin matching the white sheets. There were shadows under his eyes, his eyes that were now red and watery his glasses, with multiple tears already beginning to fall at a quick pace as he watched Cisco.

"You're sorry?" Cisco let go of the door and walked towards the bed, sitting down in the chair he had just left.

Hartley nodded, and pressed a hand to his mouth to silence a sob. "She was yours too." He whispered when he dropped his hand.

"Mine? You told the doctors you didn't know-"

"I knew. I knew it was you. I-I knew and I didn't tell you and now she's gone. I'm sorry Cisco - I loved you and I thought you'd run and leave me - I'm sorry!" Hartley buried his head in his hands, his shoulders hunched and shaking from the sobs as he cried. "I killed her. I killed your daughter." It was muffled by his hands but Cisco heard the words.

Tears burned Cisco's eyes as he stood and sat on the edge of a hospital bed. Cisco reached up and gently pulled Hartley's hands away from his face. Cisco reached up and pushed a few strands of hair from Hartley's face as he pulled him into a hug, his face resting in the crook of Cisco's neck.

His body continued shaking with sobs as Cisco slowly ran a hand through Hartley's soft dark brown hair. "You were scared." Cisco started. "You were scared of what I would say - of what everyone would say. You were scared of what would happen. You couldn't have predicted this, and it's okay. None of this is your fault, Hart - I know you're sorry, don't worry, I love you, okay?"

**Author's Note:**

> Send prompts for any ship to my tumblr ask box at someoneyoucantstand


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